The hour to vote is nearly upon us and it looks like rain. Record turn-outs are expected for this monumental first Tuesday of November and while many voters thought ahead and opted to hit the polls early this year, the rest of us will be waiting in vain, I mean, waiting in the rain for what could be hours to cast our precious ballot. Please do not let a little thing like the weather keep you from getting out at voting today. The mayor of Los Angeles has generously decided to relax parking enforcement within one block of all voting facilities.

Well, I propose another incentive that may lure some voters who might otherwise decline their civic duty for fear of severe inconvenience. Why waste time at the packed polls in a crowded city in a state that showing no signs of swinging? The cynic needs a little more motivation that does his hopeful counterpart. Imagine a tranquil voting experience where the line to get into the booth is climate controlled so no rain would get you wet and no hot sun would burn your neck. Instead of standing in a booth to punch your ticket, you would lie on a European Soft Pack Bed while the choices for candidates and propositions pass underneath that hole in the table where your face fits through and you could cast your vote simply by blinking once for Yes and twice for No. Maybe we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves but I bet less voters would opt for absentee ballots.

And what is the deal with some of these polling locations? I am instructed to go to the showroom of a used car dealership not far from my residence. I know for a fact that I live in a blue district so why are they trying to discourage me from voting? What does that say about my neighborhood? I would much prefer to visit a Calm and Soothing place like a Day Spa or Massage Parlor to select the next leader of the free world (come to think of it I have not heard that term thrown around at all during this campaign; maybe the last 8 years has knocked some of the hot air out of our balloon). Next year, instead of a stimulus check, I want complimentary Spa Packages for everyone who voted in this election. Hope and Change.